Protein Bar
by mourningatheist
Summary: L hired a private trainer to look after his shape, but ended up getting more than his money worth for. AU L/Light


My first-ever attempt at writing fanfiction so I hope you guys will go soft to me :) pardon any mistakes at spelling, grammar, and stuff, English obviously isn't my native language xD

Disclaimer: I don't own Death Note and its character.

Summary: When L hired a private trainer to look after his health, he got a lot more than his money worth for. yaoi L/Light

Rated : T (for now)

Warning: Slight OOC (Light-kun being bitchy)

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"Watari...huuuurt..."

It's the fifth time in the span of fifteen minutes since L kept continuously said those words—and Watari was tempted to storm off the room in pure fury but he reminded himself that the whining detective before him was the key to save many innocent souls and the key to lift up justice in the earth. He reminded himself firmly, he really did, but as the number eventually reached the tenth he decided that enough it's enough.

"That's why I ask you to exercise more regularly, L." he said with his usual fatherly tone. L stared at him through big, pleading kicked puppy eyes and Watari just hated the way the seemingly robotic detective turned ever so human at time like this. "And that's why I will not give you any sweets today."

L whimpered at that, the bug on his stomach groaned at the overdose of sweets while his tongue just craving for one. He's torn between obeying Watari's words because his stomach felt like hell but his craving of sugars cannot be erased. Eventually the other side of him that was very supportive of his motto, 'No sweets no work', won and he whined pitifully, hoping Watari would melt under his unusual rejected kitten look.

"But Watari-san, I'm SO not going to work if you refuse to give me my usual sweets!"

Watari simply sighed whilst rubbing the bridge of his nose. Of course. Like he hadn't heard those words already.

"Let's put it bluntly, L. For a very important man, you're in a very, very bad shape." The older man said as wisely as he could. "I do not intent to offend you, but I do think your lack of regular exercise and overwhelming amount of sweets causing your body to look…" he trailed off, reversing the word 'weird' and 'ugly' for the sake of L's heart. Because his wand might be cold at heart, but sometime he took words personally, too. "…not at their best shape."

"Are you saying I'm fat, Watari?"

"No! It's not like that. It's just, I'm suggesting you to exercise and go out more."

L sighed and slump his shoulder, pouting in a way that could make any cold man shed a tear of anguish. Carelessly typing at his laptop, he turned away from Watari's gaze as he said quietly, "But I play tennis."

"You 'played', L. Playing once in a span of three years doesn't count." Watari bluntly pointed out and the words come easier now that he didn't have to look at L's pitiful face. "…I know how to solve this. You have to seek a help from a trainer. A professional one."

That seemed to snap L out from his daydreaming of candies and chocolates and sweet in general, and he whipped his head in horror at the look of pure glee displayed on Watari's face. He stared at the older man in a way that made the other felt as if he'd just grown a second head, raven eyes even wider than usual and mouth slack agape in shock.

"I'm WHAT?!"

"You're going to have a private trainer to train you. Shape your body and everything, because you cannot do anything if you suffer of bad disease." Watari 'helpfully' helped and L just wanted to wipe that smile off of his face. Nevermind he's the one who help him reach his success.

"But no one suppose to know my presence, Watari! What if that trainer finds out my real identity? Would you risk my career just for the sake of well-shaped body?" L protested heatedly, hoping Watari would be convinced but it's highly unlikely considering of his narrowed eyes. "Besides, I only get stomachache!"

"For now. What if you suffered of permanent diarrhea later on?"

"…Such thing does not exist. Stop digging for reason, Watari, I have a private doctor to take care of my health."

Watari grinned, seeing the crack to plant the seed of doom and maybe his voice was happier than he'd intended when he exclaimed, "That's what I thought! If you have a private doctor, why not a private trainer as well?" but on the contrary of his intention L didn't look the least impressed—in fact, the detective looked majorly piss off. "And we can always give them your fake identity, like usual."

"But—"

"NO BUTS! I'm calling them now."

The tone left no room for argument and L stuck his tongue behind the older man' back as he exited the room to make a phone call.

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Staring at his perfectly manicured pinkie, Light wondered how a man could be so perfect. It's not like he's a narcissist (insert sarcasm here), but he just can't get over the fact that God blessed him with so much perfection that he almost flawless. Almost, if it's not because of the small acne on the right side of his temple. Trying out every kind of cosmetics he knew didn't help, no matter what the commercial said, so he supposed he just had to wait until that acne magically vanish on its own. No matter though, the acne was perfectly hidden by his perfect, silky brunette hair and now he's the ever-so-perfect Light Yagami again.

He sighed.

"My pinkie is kinda awesome." He said with such content that Sayu Yagami peered up at him under her Cosmo! Girl magazine, feeling all but disgusted at the way his brother stared at the pinkie. On. His. Feet.

"Bro! That was just gross! No sane man could claim their pinkies to be awesome!" she protested whilst dropping the innocent magazine to the table with an audible thump, pointing an accusing finger to a girl on the cover. "I mean, look at her! She's awesome in general, but she never held a press conference to say her pinkies are awesome!"

Arching a delicate (and perfect) eyebrow whilst staring at the girl in question, Light simply shrugged and said, "Lady Gaga, huh? Forget to tell you, but I just trained her in like, a week ago. And she's SO not as awesome as me." Nodding to himself, he quickly added, "now will you just admit that my pinkie is awesome?"

"Will I…" Sayu trailed off before truly realizing Light's words and as fast as realization dawned to her, anger coiled as well. "YOU BASTARD! Why don't you tell me you ever get the chance to train her?!"

Rubbing at his temporarily deaf ears Light pushed Sayu off of his face because having a sixteen years old sister wailing and crying tears of anguish right in front of your face was absolutely not his way of having fun. His idea of having fun was, to put it bluntly, seeing the look of utter loss and disappointment on his sister's face and just taking a great fun of her misery in general.

"You didn't ask. If I tell you then you'll call me a showing-off bastard." He replied nonchalantly, wiggling his pinkies again. "Now back to the topic: you think my pinkie awesome or what? I might get you a signature if you push the right button."

Sayu pouted at that; praise and flattery already on the tip of her tongue but still her dignity restrain her from praising Light and his awesome pinkie. Even though so, she knew, that his brother really was awesome in general—what with his reputation as the best private trainer and his looks, his intelligence and his social skill. People would go all the way to Japan just to hire him as their private trainer, asking him suggestion and advice to shape their bodies, fix their lifestyle, and Light always successful of leading them to their best condition.

And now, at the age of twenty, Light was the most famous private trainer, the youngest and the wealthiest. He'd got an apartment for himself and could stand on his own, making both of his parent proud for his career path even though they kind of disagree at the beginning. She knew that's what he deserved, though, it's not like Light just stood there looking pretty without a struggle to get the title—no— he'd worked his ass off on the past few years to make himself well-known to the world. Aaaand, as much as she hated to admit it, her brother was the most awesome guy he knew on earth. His flaw? Is the ego.

"My pinkie's waiting."

Sayu simply flipped him a bird but, for the sake of the promised signature, she very half-heartedly cooed, "Yeaaaah, your pinkie is the most awesome pinkie that ever so pinkieee…"

Apparently Light didn't notice the sarcasm (or simply ignore it) for he then retorted with a smug grin, "Thanks. That was better, lil sis."

Sayu just about to ask when suddenly, out of nowhere, Light's cell phone rang.

Barbie is a bitch!

She is just a witch!

I really hate her, why does Ken date her?

Ken is such a man,

"DAMMIT Sayu, what I told you about not messing up with my ringtone?!"

I do all I can,

Just to do him.

"But it's not my fault you're technology-impotent! You could just change it, you know…only you can't."

We just wanna screw him!

"Fuck you." Light muttered heatedly, second away from muttering it straight to the unfortunate person on the other line. Sayu replied him with a board grin before busying herself with her magazine again, knowing Light and his business issue will give her nothing but boredom.

"Hello? Light Yagami's speaking." Light said with such tender and professionalism on his voice that Sayu can't help but snort. He glared. "Yeah, yeah, sure… yeah, that wouldn't be a problem…sure…um, I usually get my sub—ah, assistants to handle the clients, so it's like, I'm the supervisor…" Sayu leaned in and try her best to act nonchalant and this time it's Light's turn to snort. "Oh no, no, it's not for you, it's my…my annoying little sister. Yeah. Uh-uh. You don't know how to have one; they're such an attention-craving brat."

Hissing as Sayu jabbed his side with her devilish fingers, Light glared straight at his sister's face before getting up to take the conversation somewhere else. He knew it's not very wistful to talk to a client with Sayu mere inches away. That brat could turn his career into ashes in a span of minutes (which Sayu still thinks kind of exaggerating).

Sayu snorted as her bro's voice faded and faded until she can't hear him at all. Nevermind though, he always spoil his career life at her especially if it's containing a lot, and she meant lots of money.

And as if on cue Light appeared from the balcony with a big, satisfied grin on his face that Sayu can't help but raised a questioning eyebrow.

"Something I missed?"

"Oh, Sayu-chan," Light cooed sweetly, still grinning rather maniacally, "We're SO going to Hawaii this holiday."

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L knew, even though he hadn't met the ever so mysterious Light Yagami yet, that he will hate him to the bone. Why, he was a slick bastard that was unfortunately smart enough to manipulate Watari and making him paid him five times than the usual amount. Like the usual amount wasn't big enough. It's not like the cost made him officially bankrupt, he only pissed off that his money went to such a waste. He'd rather have them turn in a form of chocolates or cakes or strawberries or…sweets. Not to an arrogant trainer instead. All for what, judgment about his body and shape and his taste of food? His money didn't worth it, thank you very much.

Watari had defended the great Light Yagami as he protested about it, saying, "But he's going to train you himself, how great is that?" whilst looked for the world as if he's talking about Jesus, and it really annoyed L to death. He can't wait to meet Light Yagami just to make sure the trainer had the bitch time of his life.

Not mere seconds away since he thought about that did Light Yagami show up in front of his door. He looked fine, and okay, maybe a little gorgeous, L thought with something akin to reluctance, sitting straighter on his seat and suddenly feeling very self-conscious. Compared to the perfectly ironed khaki jeans Light wore, his own faded one was ugly, and so did his long-sleeved plain white shirt. Light was wearing this black blazer thing and oh god, what a tight body underneath—L thought as the brunette took off his blazer only to reveal a firm, tight chest wrapped in a simple white shirt. Like his own, but so much different…

Conclusion: Light looked like a sex bomb and L looked like a hobo.

And L hated him for it.

"Good afternoon, everyone." Light said and even his voice was soothing and tender, yet professional at the same time. His perfect white teeth were practically glowing and L supposed it's not too exaggerating to ask for a sunglass. "Where is Mr. Rue who I'll be work with?"

L raised his hand in instinct after hearing his fake last name and Light's brown eyes immediately fell to his lurched form.

"Oh my." The gasp was quiet, but loud enough for him to hear and L mentally snickered at Light's horror-stricken face.

"What? Something's wrong, Mr. Light Yagami-san?" L taunted but of course Light, being the polite guy that he was, shook his head rather abruptly.

"No! It's just, kind of take me by surprise."

L snorted. Of course.

"Well, now that you already met with each other, I suppose I could leave the rest to you…" Watari who apparently left forgotten said out of the blue and Light's head immediately whipped around to face him.

"Of course! Working with him would be terrific." Light said whilst offering a hand and even a blind man could tell he's lying through his teeth. Watari didn't seem to mind (or notice) though, for he simply took the offered hand to give it a brief, yet firm shake before saying his farewell.

And now that there are only the two of them on the silent room Light turned into something friendly into something…monster-ish. If that even a word, L thought, half-confused and half-amused to see the frown upon the younger man's face.

"Okay. So here we are. Your dad's paid me to train you so you better listen to everything I said." Light started and L was about to correct him when a hand stopped him, "And there's no use for the honorary either. You could call me Light."

"And that's Ryuzaki for you, Light-kun."

"Right. Nice to meet you Ryuzaki-san. And let's be honest—because truthfully? Your body's suck."

Whatever pick-up line L had expected was nothing but that, and he raised a seemingly invisible eyebrow at Light before asking, "I'm sorry, but my body what?"

"Your body's suck. Without kind of. Meaning you got it bad." Light answered with his hands planted on both hips and for someone as bitchy and girly as he was, he looked very, very intimidating. "But it's okay because I'm here to train you. I promise, by the end of our period, you will feel healthier than you've ever felt in centuries and you'll look awesome, too. Remember than when I said your body's suck it's not like I'm saying your body gonna be suck for eternal, it just need a little exercise here and there." He carried on easily, already settling on one of L's chair without even asking for his permission, "Because, I hate to hide this from you but, honestly, you have a great body."

L granted him a grin at that and then suddenly, the whole training idea wasn't too bad after all.

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